How To Kill the Feeling – A Forbidden Love Affair

Many say that nowadays a forbidden love affair is already an ordinary affair, but sometimes the pains of the “forbidden” are not ordinary, they are almost unbearable.  Up to now, my friend is still grappling her way back to reality, and this is her story.

Eliza, Jason, and I were officemates since 1991. We were among the first employees of a big realty company which branched out to our area. Eliza and Jason belonged to the same department and being both site engineers, they were together most of the time doing field work. Eliza’s constant togetherness with Jason, a legally married guy with two kids, became the foundation of this forbidden love affair.

No one in the office had ever expected that Eliza would get into such a relationship. She’s a smart, very decent, well-mannered woman who came from a reputable family. Eliza once told me that she herself never imagined that she’d fall in love deeply with this married guy, so deep that her world revolved almost just around him.

It went on smoothly for more than a year, until she came to me one time, supposedly for cost accounting on some important materials.  But when she sensed that I was alone, she slumped on a chair and started to cry. “Jason is divorcing his wife”, she sobbed. “He filed it three days ago.” I didn’t know how to react because I thought what Jason did would have made her happy. I only got the message when she blurted out: “I’m a home-wrecker, a paramour, an adulterer! I’m so guilty!”

Eliza’s decent character was still running in her blood, it had never been lost after all.

Eliza suddenly disappeared. Jason couldn’t answer questions as to her whereabouts. After a week, the office received her mailed resignation letter. Four days later, she called me up, informing me that she’s going away for a while, to a place where she could “kill the feeling.”

Julia, Eliza’s elder sister came to my house about two months after the call. While reaching for a card inside her bag, she said: “The anti-depressants didn’t work. We had no other alternative. Please visit her if you have the time, I’m sure it would help.”

Eliza was staring blankly on the white wall, her hands clenching a pink rose on her chest when I visited her in the neuropsychiatric institute. “She is suppressing too many feelings inside her and she can’t take them out of her system. I could feel the weight; I know they are too heavy for her. She’ll stay here until she’d be able to learn how to let go. Please try to talk to her, she’s responsive sometimes”, said her doctor and left.

Tears rolled down from my eyes. Poor Eliza, she wanted to kill the feeling so abruptly. Maybe she was afraid that if she would not have done it sooner, chances were she’d never be able to do it anymore, and she’ll be carrying a more hurting guilt and a forbidden love which no one in this world could then ever kill.

Eliza is getting better everyday. She could now talk a little about Jason. She smiled when I gave her the draft of this story.

Diabetes – A Global Epidemic?

by bright_light

 

The World Health Organization (WHO) predicted a couple of years ago that by year 2025 more than 300 million people around the world will be afflicted with diabetes.  According to the Diabetes Atlas of the International Diabetes Federation (IDF), “there are 246 million people worldwide who are currently suffering from diabetes and a person dies from diabetes-related causes every 10 seconds”.  These statistics are alarming and we should not take them for granted, especially if this disease runs in your family just like mine.

 

My father, two brothers, and a sister, are all diabetic, so is my 30-year-old nephew.  In the mid-80s, my cousin who was only 40 years old, died from it.  Diabetes awareness was not yet a primary program of our government, hence, except for those in the medical profession, only a few knew what a glucometer was.  I believe this medical instrument could have saved the life of my cousin.

 

My late cousin suddenly felt so weak at that time and on the verge of passing out.  His wife got nervous, took a tablespoon of table sugar and put it inside his mouth.  Seconds later, my cousin quivered.  He was already dead when they reached the hospital.

 

Now that we constantly use a glucometer, I am still mulling over the circumstances surrounding his death.  Was he suffering from hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) at that time? What if it was hyperglycemia (high blood sugar) and still he was given a tablespoon of table sugar?

 

Well, nobody knows, and I don’t want to blame anybody for his death.  All I can say now is that, every household should have a glucometer especially if a member of the family is diabetic.  For us who are not afflicted with the disease, it pays to measure our glucose level once in a while.  Fasting blood sugar should not reach 100 mg/dL but should not be less than 70 mg/dL.  Post-meal blood sugar should not be more than 140 mg/dL.  Of course, don’t forget diet and exercise.